tag: Inventions

The Short Happy Life of the Brown Oxford

Paycheck and Other Classic Stories by Philip K. Dick
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First published in Fantasy & Science Fiction Jan 1954

Doc Labyrinth decides he has figured out the origin of all life: at some point in the distant past an inanimate object was annoyed enough by some irritant that it sprang to life to escape it. The Doc dubs this the Principle of Sufficient Irritation. 

In order to demonstrate this theory he builds the Animator (described as a Dutch oven but more accurately is probably a crock pot since it has a heating mechanism). When his invention doesn’t sufficiently irritate a brass button enough to provoke sentience he sells the device to his friend for five dollars. His friend puts his wet oxfords in the Animator to dry overnight and one oxford is sufficiently irritated enough to come to life. Everyone is sufficiently amazed especially when the oxford finds a woman’s slipper to animate for a companion. 

Cast of characters

  • the unnamed narrator – the same unnamed narrator from “The Preserving Machine”
  • Joan – the narrator’s wife
  • Doc Labyrinth – inventor of the Animator. Also inventor of the preserving machine in “The Preserving Machine”

The Preserving Machine

Paycheck and Other Classic Stories by Philip K. Dick
Buy it on Amazon
First published in Fantasy & Science Fiction Jun 1953

Doc Labyrinth can’t stand the idea that all of our culture’s art, literature and especially music will one day be lost to time. His unorthodox solution is a machine which outputs animals after being fed sheet music of famous composers.

These animals, created from Mozart, Brahms, Bach, etc., eventually make their way into the woods behind his house, and when Doc and his friend next encounter these creatures, they find they have evolved into vicious beasts. When one of these is returned to the machine to be converted back into music the hideous result bears no resemblance to the original score.

Cast of characters

  • Doc Labyrinth – inventor of the titular preserving machine
  • the unnamed narrator – Doc’s companion